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[[https://bit.ly/3UnaKu0 Emotional Abuse Is Psychological Abuse]]
[[https://bit.ly/45rIefX Ex Googling]]
[[https://bit.ly/4mA2l2n What’s the Best Age to Say “I Do”?]]
[[https://bit.ly/4oudnIj Is Living Together Before Marriage a Good Idea?]]
[[https://bit.ly/45byLdL Fall in Love with Yourself]]
[[https://bit.ly/3UjkbdZ Finding Real Love and Your Soulmate]]
[[https://bit.ly/4owxtS3 Finding Closure When a Relationship Suddenly Ends]]
[[https://bit.ly/3J7Y6N6 Five Danger Signs for Divorce]]
[[https://bit.ly/45BmkXM Five Compliments Men Crave]]
[[https://bit.ly/4oAW4Wa Five Dating-Profile Clichés and What They Really Mean]]

My own bias is that even if someone says they aren’t looking for a long-term committed relationship, I tend to think they still harbor hope for one. The reasons for not looking are solid, sensible, and varied as people themselves – and getting an education is one of the best ones I can think of. It’s just that the protestations of not wanting the lid anyway comes across as defensive. As I said, that’s my own bias, that I think everyone (DMN aside) wants that deep down.

So I see the ‘blame the universe and crappy cosmic odds’ and the claiming credit for the choice to better one’s earning potential / employment prospects as being at odds.

Plus, Pistola your posts are usually so clear-eyed and open, I was startled to see what appeared to be this big blind spot. In reading your comments again, I think you were just defending good friends who don’t deserve blame on top of lack of success. I didn’t mean to do that. I was thinking of some of my own specific friends who repeat dating mistakes, and then moan and complain about why the world done them wrong, or choose a very demanding, life-consuming career, and then wail about how unfair it is that they haven’t met someone.

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Crotch Rocket says:
March 20, 2011 at 9:58 pm
“where does that leave the rest of us? The ones who just have a hard time coming across anyone who is somewhat decent?” Here’s the thing: you’re “coming across” all those same someones that “some people” do; you’re just not dating/marrying them because either (A) you don’t want those someones or (B) those someones don’t want you. Notice the common thread there?

I’ve said it numerous times here before, but it bears repeating: Look for the kind of person you want, look at the kind of person they choose, become that kind of person, and they will choose you. If you’re not willing/able to do that, then you need to learn to want something different or accept being single forever. It’s that simple.

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